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Published in: on July 7, 2011 at 12:15 pm  Leave a Comment  

Eats, Shoots, and Leaves…

I’m one of those pedantic people who point out mistakes in other people’s written literacy: including text messages; greetings cards and signs.

Grammatically incorrect signs annoy me more than anything else because their purpose is for people to see and look at them, so in short, to read them. But, if it is grammatically incorrect, it could have a completely different meaning.

EG: A Panda eats shoots and leaves.

A Panda eats, shoots, and leaves.

This is the obvious example that is used so frequently among linguists. But this example comes from this joke: 

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.

‘Why?’ asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

‘Well, I’m a panda,’ he says, at the door. ‘Look it up.’

The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. ‘Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots, and leaves.’

Sort it out.

Published in: on July 12, 2010 at 8:07 pm  Leave a Comment  

You dont know what you got ’till it’s gone…

Lately, in the ex-garden of England – Kent, the weather has genuinely been something a little bit special. The sun’s been shining and there’s been a pleasant breeze to cool all those ignorant enough to rise above the idea of sun cream. Humming of Bees, the smell of freshly cut grass, and the taste of slightly overdone burgers are contantly in mind. However, and with one of my blogs there is always a however. However, there are those who voice a different opinion. “It’s way too hot!”, “I hate this, it’s too hot!” are just two of the foolishly made statements i’ve recently heard. Now, when it was winter, and when it rolls back round these people are going to realise that they want the sun back. Maybe they should make up their mind.

“You don’t know what you got ’till it’s gone.” Cinderella, 1988.

Published in: on July 10, 2010 at 8:28 pm  Comments (1)  

2062 – when i’m 68.

I’ve also decided to blog less about movie reviews, and just share what i’m really thinking. But kudos to Steven Keevil for starting me on a literary adventure that i’m sure will be very short-lived. We’ll see though. but if i do make any posts in 2062 when i’m 68 then i was wrong.

Published in: on July 10, 2010 at 12:26 am  Leave a Comment  

No news is good news… right?

The majority of people think, in a very Cliched way, that honesty is the best policy. I’m in no place to judge whichever modern-day prophet or philosopher said this, but it seems to have stuck to contemporary society. But  maybe honesty really isn’t the best policy. I know people say “if my partner was cheating on me, i’d rather know” but as poet Thomas Gray said: “Ignorance is bliss”. This makes more sense to me, because if a life altering thing was being kept from me, like above, a partner was cheating on me, i’d rather not know.

“No news is good news” Gloria Borger.

Published in: on July 10, 2010 at 12:24 am  Leave a Comment  

Walk The Line Review…

Now,  when i write a review, i write a summary of the film’s plot. However, i won’t for this film, as it was more subdued and continuous.


This biographical film depicts the life and times of Johnny Cash, a pioneering musician of what we hear today. I feel that after watching the film of one of my favourite musicians, i know him as if i have a personal bond with him, which i clearly don’t, but i suppose that was the purpose of the film. The film shows how Johnny grew up and into a man. We see the inspiration of his work, and follow him through the highlights and low points of his life, and it is this which creates the personal bond i briefly mentioned earlier. The soundtrack of the film is none other than Johnny Cash, which is to be expected, but the less mainstream songs were selected. For instance, i had only heard two of the songs in the film, and i consider myself quite a fan. I think this is probably to introduce more of Cash’s work to the world.

Published in: on April 5, 2010 at 11:19 pm  Comments (1)  

Alice in Wonderland Review..

The film begins with a young Alice complaining to her father about a continuous bad dream. He sends her off to bed. We next see Alice with her mother on the way to a social party in the large Garden of her late father’s boss. She is shown as the rebellious, easily-distracted young lady, who is being wooed by the rich son of her father’s boss. He asks her to marry him, and she runs away, following the white rabbit she’d seen in her dream. After following it down the Rabbit’s hole, she enters wonderland after the shrinking/growing scenario. We meet the characters in the next half an hour, where we are made aware of the apparent feud between the Red Queen and the White Queen, two sisters. Alice must follow her path to free the Mad Hatter and to slay the Jabberwocky, as it is fortold by the Catterpillar. The adventure takes Alice from the castle of the Red Queen, to the castle of the White Queen, and finally to a chess board like battlefield. Alice kills the Jabberwocky and the Red Queen loses power over Underland. The White Queen is granted power and sends the Red Queen to be all alone, with no-one’s company apart from her lover’s, who hates her.

The film, as a Tim Burton film, was outstanding! The cinematography was perfect, the soundtrack, unsurprisingly done by Danny Elfman complimented the film beautifully. With an all star cast (including: Helena Bonham Carter; Johnny Depp; Alan Rickman; Timothy Spall; Christopher Lee; Anne Hathaway and Barbera Windsor) the film had high expectations, and i feel the film has succeeded in fulfilling this expectation. On the whole, really good film, especially in 3d!

Published in: on March 16, 2010 at 10:27 pm  Leave a Comment  

Watchmen Review…

We see, during the opening credits, the history of a group of vigilante “heroes” named the Watchmen. However, they are picked off, one by one, by society until there are only a few left. They soon give up after becoming people running around in masks. We see, throughout the next 20-30 minutes, how the remaining heroes are getting on with their lives, and “Nite Owl” and the “silk spectre”  meet. “Silk Spectre” is in a long term relationship with “Dr. Jon Osterman”, better known as Doctor Manhattan, a man capable of near enough anything, but due to a scientific mishap, is blue and has the ablity to change the size of himself. “Silk Spectre” and “Nite Owl” begin to bring back the Watchmen, and in doing so create a close relationship. In a short space of time, their close relationship turns sexual, even though “Silk Spectre” and Doctor Manhattan. They soon meet “Rorschach”, another watchman. We follow the three through an investigative adventure leading them through a prison all the way to the south pole where the three remaining watchmen must defeat “Ozymandias”, an ex watchman who is the cleverest man in the world. They defeat the man who thinks himself a god or king alongside Rameses and other egyptian kings. They defeat him and all live happily ever after, the end.

This film was really good. i really enjoyed watching it, but would wait a while before watching it again. I couldn’t help but feel that any film with blue characters (Doctor Manhattan) such as Avatar and Braveheart have had very good receptions and both of these films won Oscars for Best Film, all i could think about this film was “is this film worthy of an oscar?” It dragged on a little bit. at 2 and a half hours long, certain parts of the film that lacked action seemed tedious, and as it was the first time i’d seen the film – not such a good thing. on the whole, i found the film action packed, funny at times but also covering contemporary moral issues all the while.

Published in: on March 15, 2010 at 9:36 pm  Comments (1)  

Avatar Review…

The film begins with an introduction to a man, Jake, whose brother has recently died. He has been given the task of continuing his brother’s work. Everyone is cynical about his abilities in comparison to his brother’s. Jake is entered into to the planet of Pandora, into a humanoid race named the Na’Vi. Jake, for want of a better phrase, runs before he can walk, but by doing so impresses certain members of the team, but not others. The film continues to see Jake’s Avatar get closer and closer to the community and to Neytiri, a female Avatar. The humans employing Jake do not tell him the entire plan for the information he gives them on a regular basis. The leader of the human group begins unveiling plans of destroying the home of the Na’Vi. The plans succeed, and the Na’Vi lose respect and trust for Jake so he proves himself to be a strong member of the tribe. He recruits 15 tribes and created a force stronger than that of the humans. After answering his prayer, the Na’Vi’s deity controls nature to fight alongside Jake. Jake wins the war against the humans and enters the world of the Na’Vi forever.

This film has shaped the future of cinema. In 3d, the experience of watching this film is enhanced to make the viewer feel as if they are in the film, and a part of the action. All i can say about this film without saying to much, is that it was breathtaking. End.

Published in: on February 24, 2010 at 11:41 pm  Leave a Comment  

Ill… Again.

Yes, i am yet again ill. I would say it’s worth it, but i can’t as i know for a fact because i know my antics of the weekend have nothing to do with a cold. I”ve got through a roll of tissue and half a box of asprin. I’m feeling somewhat light-headed and i wasn’t warned about this on the box. Perhaps i could sue morrisons to overcome my current financial problem. To be plain, i’m not helping myself with the whole money thing as i spent near enough £20 in a club on friday night, drinking enough to help myself forget what turned out to be quite a good night, and going out for dinner on Saturday night. When i got in later that night, all i wanted to do was sleep, as i got little less than four hours of the sweet, replenishing “cure-for-anything” on friday night.

Waking up this morning was easier than i expected. I have now discovered that it helps my comfort when i can breathe, rather than being suffocated half to death by the rear end of my small black cat. Some say that black cats are bad luck. This morning, i could do nothing more but to agree with whoever made this assumption.

Published in: on January 31, 2010 at 10:14 pm  Comments (1)